When I was still in practice as a child psychologist, it was a disheartening reality that, by the time most children were walking through my door for a diagnostic evaluation, their struggles were longstanding. Often, it had gotten to the point of failing grades (or having to repeat a grade!), ineffective school interventions, or a tumultuous home situation with parents at their wits’ end (we have more free resources if school or homework is a struggle). In any of these situations, as you can imagine, the child themselves is just as frustrated as the adults who are trying to help them.

During diagnostic testing, there is a lot of one-on-one time with the child, engaging them in conversation and tasks. These tasks, by design, push children to their limits. It is in these moments that I really got a glimpse into their (usually) internal dialogue... and it was, more often than not, not very kind.

“I’m stupid.”

“I’m not good at math so I can’t do this problem.”

“This is too hard.”

“I’l...