A few years ago, I was at a friend’s house hanging out for a much-needed girl’s night (ahhhh…remember those carefree, pre-COVID days). One of the women there started talking about her son’s test anxiety at school. Her son would panic during tests and could not complete the work. When the mother had a meeting with the school to discuss her son’s test anxiety, she was met with an unexpected response.

One of the school staff stated that children don’t have anxiety!

Wow, I felt for this mom. She had painfully endured hearing her son complain of tummy aches at school, freezing and not being able to write during tests, and trying to hide tears running down his cheeks, so his friends couldn’t see. And now, it was affecting his grades because he was not able to show his knowledge. When she finally met with the team, she was met with misinformation and resistance.

To set the record straight, children DO experience anxiety (and every other emotion that we adults feel!). In fact, the CDC es...

I once had a patient named Jerry (a fake name to protect his identity, but with permission to share his story from Jerry and his family).  Jerry was in high school and was very anxious anytime he went out in public. 

His mother reported concerns that they were not able to live a life they wanted because of Jerry’s anxiety. They couldn’t go to the mall, eat out at a restaurant, or go out to stores because he just felt too overwhelmed. And when he did go out, he would wear earplugs AND headphones to avoid his anxiety, neither of which helped. Needless to say, he and his family were ready for change!

I can tell you that after some therapy and LOTS of hard work, I received an email filled with pictures of Jerry at prom, which was attended by over 1,000 people. Now when Jerry goes places, he states, “I’m gonna Lori Long this sh**!"

As much as I love that Jerry made my name into a verb, I can’t take the credit. The techniques we used were from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). And today...

This week, we were interviewed by Special Education and Civil Rights attorneys, Amanda and Vickie, over at the  Inclusive Education Project. We had a great conversation and shared more about our mission as well as tips and tricks to help parents raising kids with ADHD and anxiety. 

In the podcast, we covered a lot of different topics, including: 

1) A little bit about Lori, Katie, and Mallory and why we started the Childhood Collective.

2) School refusal and anxiety.

3) The not so common symptoms of anxiety.

4) What questions you can ask your kids if you suspect anxiety.

5) Kids do well if they can.

6) What kids really need. Hint: It isn't more punishment!

7) Why parenting children with ADHD is not at all intuitive.

8) Our online ADHD parenting course, Creating Calm, and why it is so unique.

And much more!

Check out the podcast: Empowering Parentings a Conversation with The Childhood Collective

Have an amazing week!

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As a parent, the stress of facing repeated mornings of your child crying and refusing to go to school can be incredibly overwhelming. Some days you may feel empathy and want to keep your child safe at home. But other days you totally lose your cool and desperately want to pick them up and force them in the car in their pajamas. It can be hard to know what to do when your child refuses to go to school and how best to handle the situation.

Last week, we covered several reasons why your child might be refusing to go to school. If you missed it, check it out here. This week, we are diving into our top 10 strategies to consider if your child is refusing school.

Top 10 Strategies for School Refusal

1) Validate Emotions

Always start with validating your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s ok to be worried or afraid. It happens to everyone, including you. Anxiety thrives and grows when it is hidden. Talking about it gives it less power in your child’s life. Your child nee...

If any of you have had your child refuse to go to school, either now or in the past, you know how frustrating and challenging this can be. And what can simply begin with your child not wanting to go to school or not feeling well once a week, can rapidly deteriorate into weeks, months, or even years of school refusal. Over the past few years, I (Lori) have worked with a number of families facing school refusal, and I can tell you that the situation is hard on everyone – the child, the parents, and the school staff. And once in a pattern of refusal, it can be very hard to work your way out. But I want to encourage you that it is possible! So, let’s first jump into finding out why it is happening.

Why is My Child Refusing School?

This is a difficult question and varies from child to child. There can be a number of reasons for your child not wanting to go to school, so we will discuss some of the most common:

1) Anxiety

If your child is refusing to go to school, there is a ver...

At the beginning of the school year, my 5-year-old daughter seemed to have an endless amount of worries every night before bed. She had just started kindergarten, and it was her 3^rd new school over the past couple of years. Every new situation that came up during the week, she expressed concerns. Separation from me all day was a concern. Uncertainty in general was a concern. After a period of a few months, the worries eased, the separation anxiety lessened, and nighttime fears seemed to go away.

Then, over the holidays, we had a solid few weeks of almost constant worries about 1^st grade. What would it be like? Would she know anyone? Who would her teacher be? What would the work be like? The list seemed to go on and on. And then, after we arrived home from traveling and caught up on some rest, the worries slowly disappeared.

In the midst of all of my daughter’s anxiety though, I felt a burden. Naturally, I began to worry about my daughter’s worry! If any of you parents out there have ...