Some days it can feel like your child with ADHD has a vendetta against you. You tell them to go out…they go in. You say stop…they go. You tell them to start their homework, and they look at you and turn on the television. When our kids show defiance and go against our warnings or directions, it can feel downright infuriating. And it can make you question whether you are even a good parent.

First, let’s normalize this: you are not alone! Defiance is one of the most common challenges faced by parents and teachers of children with ADHD. As a psychologist, whenever a parent tells me that their child is defiant, I always try to dig a little deeper to find out why?

The truth is that defiance is often a symptom of a larger problem for the child or with their environment.

Today, I am sharing four possible reasons for defiance in children with ADHD.

1) Executive functioning differences

I remember testing a young girl and asking her to complete some math facts quickly for 1 minute. Af...

Does your child struggle with writing? If so, you are not alone! When kids come to my (Katie's) office for testing, they are usually happy to play with toys and look at pictures... until I get out a pencil and tell them we are going to write! Writing can be challenging for so many reasons.

I constantly talk with parents who are stressed and overwhelmed every time their child brings home a writing assignment. Don’t worry, we are here to help you understand why this is happening and how you can support your child! 

Writing and language are connected

There is a strong link between writing and language. In many ways, writing is the academic form of speaking, so children who have a language disorder are much more likely to struggle with writing. One longitudinal research study revealed that “among children with speech and language impairment, the cumulative incidence of a writing disorder was 61.4% for boys and 55.1% for girls at age 19 years” (Katusic et al., 2009).

If you are worrie...

As a parent, the stress of facing repeated mornings of your child crying and refusing to go to school can be incredibly overwhelming. Some days you may feel empathy and want to keep your child safe at home. But other days you totally lose your cool and desperately want to pick them up and force them in the car in their pajamas. It can be hard to know what to do when your child refuses to go to school and how best to handle the situation.

Last week, we covered several reasons why your child might be refusing to go to school. If you missed it, check it out here. This week, we are diving into our top 10 strategies to consider if your child is refusing school.

Top 10 Strategies for School Refusal

1) Validate Emotions

Always start with validating your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s ok to be worried or afraid. It happens to everyone, including you. Anxiety thrives and grows when it is hidden. Talking about it gives it less power in your child’s life. Your child nee...

If any of you have had your child refuse to go to school, either now or in the past, you know how frustrating and challenging this can be. And what can simply begin with your child not wanting to go to school or not feeling well once a week, can rapidly deteriorate into weeks, months, or even years of school refusal. Over the past few years, I (Lori) have worked with a number of families facing school refusal, and I can tell you that the situation is hard on everyone – the child, the parents, and the school staff. And once in a pattern of refusal, it can be very hard to work your way out. But I want to encourage you that it is possible! So, let’s first jump into finding out why it is happening.

Why is My Child Refusing School?

This is a difficult question and varies from child to child. There can be a number of reasons for your child not wanting to go to school, so we will discuss some of the most common:

1) Anxiety

If your child is refusing to go to school, there is a ver...

How’s school going for your child? In Arizona, we just finished up the school year – which is a welcome break for all of us parents who have been homeschooling our kids for the past two months! How did distance learning go in your family? Each of us at The Childhood Collective have had different experiences.

Mallory’s oldest is in preschool, so they didn’t have any specific homework. She has been doing all kinds of creative activities to keep her little ones busy and engaged. Lori and I (Katie) each have daughters in kindergarten, so we got to dive head first into distance learning! My daughter loves reading and is now reading everything in the house… which wasn’t awesome when I left myself a note to remember my tooth fairy responsibilities (oops, had to think fast to get out of that one!). Of course, each day when it was time for my daughter to do math, she would immediately need a snack, find a random bug bite that needed attention, or have an emergency trip to the bathroom. Full di...